How Now Brown Cow (Day 58: 4/27/10)

What's the good news?

Hey everyone! Really happy to report that the confident walk I achieved a few days ago is still present and getting stronger each time. I am enjoying not feeling self-conscious when others see me out and about. I smile and keep on my way instead of putting my head down and rounding my shoulders. My back and posture are thanking the self-hypnosis as well!

You know something? Today I had a very interesting epiphany. It involves worrying about what others think of you. It all started on the way to my class today. I caught site of a dude in a car. Now I don't know if he was REALLY someone I recognized, or just looked like someone I recognized, but that doesn't matter. It spawned a series of memories of this guy who when we were younger, was my sometimes acquaintance. I remember that he talked to me sometimes in middle school and the conversation was pleasant. But then one day I'm not really sure why, but he lashed out at me verbally, and I stayed away from him ever since. I guess you could say that I had been forming some kind of a crush on him and I was entirely hurt by his words, so I felt rejected even though he had no clue that I liked him.

Then came high school, and suddenly he was in a new crowd of people. None of this really matters to what I'm getting at here. Bottom line, I had a thought. "Oh if he would just see me now, how pretty I've become, how smart and sophisticated. How articulate I've become. I'm such a different person and he would be attracted to me"

I stopped. A voice entered my head from direction right, I swear, and it said to me, "Maybe there is a specific girl he is attracted to. Maybe you aren't her. Why do you REALLY wonder about if he were to see you now? Do you really want him to like and be attracted to you? Really?"

And I realized, that all I really felt was a want of social acceptance. I realized that I only wanted him to realize the changes that I've made for myself. It wasn't long before I concluded that these thoughts weren't productive. I have been building up this confidence for a long time and yet I still need social acceptance? Nu uh. I am on a mission to accept me. What other people think of me is neither relevant or important. As CharmingPixieFlora says, "What others think of you is none of your business" and I believe that this is so true.

So get out of other people's head and listen to what's within your own! That is my advice for today. Follow it, or do as you see fit. Either way, strive to do what? FEEL GOOD NOW. As I do, and as do all the others who are creating their own realities and living actively with fantastic and great results.

We've made it so far, let's not stop now!!!!