What to Do? (Day 44: 4/13/10)

What's the good news?

So today I was approached by a friend of mine on a tough issue. I won't share his personal issues with, but I can say that he is in a state of sadness.

I don't really have much to say today because my mind has been wrapped around what I could tell him to help him feel better. I know that we cannot heal or save others, but I do know that when my friends come to me, I try my best to help them realize the road toward happiness, whether they take it or not is completely up to them.

I am very unsure of what to tell him though. I know that sadness is a lot harder to deal with than anger. I just wish I could tell him to be angry, and then work his way up through emotions from there. Anger is easier than sadness. When you are angry you feel like you blame others, she feel like you could keep the actual hurt from being in your heart. Versus feeling sad, sadness is like a feeling of lost hope. When you are sad, you feel you have lost something. Losing something (sadness) is a different feeling altogether than having something taken from you (anger). It's easier to be angry because you can a lot faster regain that feeling of hope. You just have to have the right things in place for you.

But he can't be mad, only sad. My heart goes out to him. Sadness can shake a person. It can turn into depression.

I remember for me, when I found out that my boyfriend of almost 3 years had moved on and met someone and in a nutshell, forgot I existed. I was so sad. I cried about it and fretted for days. I started to think that something was wrong with me, I thought that I wasn't good enough. I mean, hey, he didn't even view me worthy enough of breaking up with me, something must have been wrong with me. That kind of thinking, mixed into an environment that wasn't exactly healthy, and feelings of loneliness actually spiraled me into about a half year of depression. Tough times. But you know what? After depression cam anger. I blamed him, I blamed the other girl, eventually I blamed myself. I blamed so many people for such a failed relationship.

Feeling angry about it was the best thing I could have done for myself. Why? Because from there I felt acceptance of what happened. Accepting it all allowed me to realize the truth of it all. The truth that he wasn't for me, that it wasn't a particularly healthy relationship, that I could, and WOULD, pick myself up and move on. I could feel the hope again. Then from there, I learned to let go.

So I just really want him to know that no matter where you are in life, there is always another step up. Then from there, there is another one. It doesn't stop. Once you get to happy, you just keep getting better and better.

No matter what, we are always in a state of now. This I have learned from the Abraham Hicks books. Right now, he probably does not feel to good. But I bet if he can find just one thing to feel good about, that will spawn a good feeling for the next moment of life. Abraham mentions that for something to affect your manifestations, you need only focus upon it for 17 seconds. So maybe I should tell him that.

In the end, I just want him to not be sad. To be happy. But the truth is that I can't make that happen for him. Only he can. The only person that I answer to is myself. The hard thing is feeling sympathy for him without empathizing with him. I am working on this. I have to find that balance to where I can feel comfortable helping him out, without feeling his emotions.

Wish me luck.